And here’s what else: I can literally be talked into falling in love.  

(only by the craftiest sort of dudes but the problem is that I adore crafty dudes)

This and many other revelations eluded me until I took one full year off from dudes.  Barring one or two minor backslides, it is over now (well, it will be one year in February).  I have spent half of every day this past week congratulating myself on this Great Achievement.  

Only half of every day because each afternoon at 3:30pm, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen up close walks up to the counter at work and bursts my self-congratulatory bubble.

I have this crush.

I have only been in love one time, and it was back when I was really into dying my hair black and spending one night each week avoiding using the red panic phone in the lobby of an arts building in Nashville, TN.  

Every other time I was talked into it, but those times weren’t real.  I got over the first fake time in approximately 3 days.  The second fake time I got over it in a less than one day because I started dating someone else entirely the following day.  

The third fake time I got over in about 2 months then I had to re-get over it another few months after that.  (And I still sort of hate that dude but I secretly like that dude and think he is pretty alright/pleasant)

And now I have successfully survived a year free of pining after some dude and also free of wallowing in the unnecessary (but oh so crave-able) attention that comes with allowing some poor dude to pine after me.

Here is what I accomplished in one dude-free year:

• Apply to my dream grad program 
• Move across the country 
• Get 2 new jobs 
• Get accepted into my dream grad program
• Spend more time bonding with my sister than I have in the past 8 years combined
• Regain sanity

And now I have a harmless crush.  I’m totally back in the game and it’s going to be fine.

Love, LR