May 2012
3 posts
adventures in surgery.
today i had surgery.
a patch of skin had to be removed from my abdomen for biopsy for cancer cells. originally we were supposed to get the results right away but they decided to send it out instead. i will know next week. i am trying not to worry. but we all know how good i am at that.
the worst part was this past week, during which sleep was very troubled and my stomach refused food for a...
April 2012
2 posts
today is a lesson in how the beginnings of things can be just as painful as the ends of things. i am sitting at the seattle airport wondering about how it is that today is the day my heart has decided to mourn the loss of this life i gave myself to for 4 years and gave up in one month of planning and packing and goodbye-ing.
i’ve known for some time that destruction gives way to new...
March 2012
1 post
February 2012
8 posts
January 2012
16 posts
WELL I AM ALWAYS CHANGING MY MIND.
And here’s what else: I can literally be talked into falling in love.
(only by the craftiest sort of dudes but the problem is that I adore crafty dudes)
This and many other revelations eluded me until I took one full year off from dudes. Barring one or two minor backslides, it is over now (well, it will be one year in February). I have spent half of every day this past week...
this just happened.
Leah: “My phone’s been dead for 2 days.”
Me: “Leah! What if I was dying on a corner somewhere in Bed-Stuy and needed to get ahold of you?”
Leah: “I have email.”
PETA will hate this.
DISCLAIMER: Animals were, in fact, harmed in the events leading up to this post.
I haven’t had to face my own mortality very often. I’m suicidal for the first few moments of every morning (and also the times I have to deal with my boss’s mother before I’ve had the chance to guzzle down at least 16 ounces of coffee) but that’s as close as I come.
We live in an old...
Skinny dudes? What am I supposed to do with a...
I know we’ve seen a lot of Meg Ryan movies, but let me clear things up: New York is not anything like it’s portrayed in romanic comedies.
Here is my official review of this city:
After it rains, a mysterious layer of garbage rises to the surface of all sidewalks (from god only knows where). And it’s not even normal garbage. Think: a baby squirrel that died of a heroine...
December 2011
5 posts
Ugh-leven.
This was the worst year of my life.
Here is a brief list of reasons why I believe 2012 might be the best:
-in 3 weeks I’m starting grad school
-my sister is my roommate, and she is one of the greatest people on earth
-I am several thousands of miles away from most of the reasons why 2011 was so terrifically painful
-my job is pleasant, easy and my coworkers/bosses are hilarious
...
subway thoughts (eulogy for a hatchet).
my mind explores all sorts of metaphorical dark tunnels during my time underground each day. today i wondered about this:
why is it that the moment right after a person hurts us the most is the moment we want to be closest to them?
are we trying to erase the event? prove we’re above it? change their minds? change our own minds?
i remember a particular night i spent apart from the...
November 2011
5 posts
i was cleaning up my hard drive and found a list of goals i wrote in february 2005, at age 19. i’ve noted the ones i actually accomplished since then.
fall in love (CHECK)
backpack my way through europe (CHECK)
own and run a venue (next to molly’s record store)
go to every continent at least once
learn how to surf
own a greyhound
write a book
record an album
fight...
dude(s).
it’s not that hard to not have a crush. i’ve lived here 3 weeks now and i do not have a crush.
it’s been that sort of year and today at the laundromat, surrounded by 4’11” jewish women in tracksuits, i realized that this year (despite its rougher edges), perhaps more so than any other year, there has been no shortage of love.
between my birthday, pretty much...
October 2011
11 posts
america the beguiling.
the mountains in wyoming gently roll over and into themselves like folds in the skin of hundreds of giant sleeping cats.
some monday nights end in small deserted towns, miles and miles from proper civilization. the terror i felt in those great black expanses was endless. i pushed back the curtains the following morning and the terror drew away with them on either side. it was still there, to...
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